Dedicated Toledo Workforce

Its nice to see that not everyone is using the cold weather as an excuse not to head out to work. While closings are rampantly streaming across the bottom of our TV screens, the thieves of Toledo are hard at work.

My truck was broken into yesterday, during work hours, in the Port Lawrence parking garage downtown. Toledo thieves, undeterred by weather, are out doing their best to stimulate the underbelly of the economy. While I applaud the thief's dedication, I question his/her talent.

First, I drive an old truck. "Old" in this context does not mean "classic" or "vintage," it means crappy. A rusted out 1991 Ford Ranger to be specific. However, because the prior owner was a young kid, it did have a kickin stereo, so the choice was not completely unreasonable.

I must take issue, however, with how this citizen applies his craft. I naively still expect workers to know their trade, study the masters, and apply it with journeyman skill. My thief is either an apprentice, or is resting on his laurels.

Gone are the days when a man took pride in his work, sought excellence, and the results were self evident. My salvage technician obviously has not studied the masters. He surely has not watched: The Heist, Oceans 11, 12, or 13, or The Ref; as he clearly is unaware that the goal is to steal with such precision and finesse that the mark remains unaware that they have been had for days or even weeks.

Clearly, the person who is re-using my stereo did not do their homework. They obviously did not study the dashboard schematics of the Ford Ranger, and must not have called upon a collegue or former UAW Ford plant "source" who could provide them detailed diagrams of the Ford truck interior, thereby allowing him to effortlessly release the dash and remove its contents with speed and minimal effort. My recycler brutishly pried my dash from its moorings, braking it in the process, leaving clear evidence of his presence through tool marks on the trim, and even destroying his tool, lazily leaving it on my floorboard.

Additionally, he lacked the attention to detail and thoroughness required to excel in any profession. He missed several premium CD's affixed to my sun visor, including Botchelli and Dave Mathews, BOTCHELLI FOR GOD'S SAKE! With even a cursory look behind the seat it would have been clear that my speakers were ripe as fresh apples for picking, as I had not actually mounted them and they were simply resting behind the seat held in place by their magnets. Finally, the briefest glance into the glove box (step #3 in "Auto Burglary for Dummies") would have shown the treasure hunter that his new stereo included a REMOTE.

So not everyone is using the weather as a reason to rest at home on the couch watching Regis and Kelly. Some "go getters" are out braving the elements to ply their craft and provide much needed, gently used electronics, to themselves or their pawn dealer. All is not lost, Toledo does have dedicated, hard working, citizens willing to get out there and profit.

TAHL